


Perspective

by yukiawison



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Insecurity, M/M, Mutual Pining, body swap sort of??, read the summary lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 18:49:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11812062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukiawison/pseuds/yukiawison
Summary: Based on this tumblr request:Anon asked: Could you write something with the purple mountain dew? Joe said that it does a body swap with the user and the squip :)It started with an Amazon mix up.





	Perspective

It started with an unfortunate Amazon mix up. Of course Jeremy (being Jeremy) didn't realize there was a mix up or how unfortunate it was until after the fact.

"Hey Jer, you got a package. I picked it up on the way in." Michael handed him the box and plopped down on the couch cushion beside him. "What is it?" He sat close. Their shoulders pressed together and Michael smelled of the pot and sickly sweet cherry slushy like he always did. He pushed his glasses further up his nose.

Things had gone back to normal after the Squip incident (or more accurately a series of incidents) junior year in some ways. He still spent most of his free time playing video games or getting stoned in Michael's basement. But he had more friends now. Squip-less Rich was a actually a pretty nice guy. Jeremy had listened to Rich rant about everything from "the One Direction members from least to most hot: a definitive, supported by aesthetic evidence, list" to "10 things I'm going to do to determine whether or not Jake Dillinger likes me back"...so boys, Jeremy listened to Rich talk about boys. And sometimes they texted about their Squips. It was hard to talk about it in person but it was nice to have someone else who understood. It was nice to have someone who got it when things fell apart.

He talked to all of them now: Rich, Jake, Chloe, Jenna, Brooke, and even Christine. He never thought he'd be able to have multiple conversations with Christine Canigula without throwing up or talking too loud or otherwise panicking like a fish out of water. Especially after they went on two awkward dates (concluding, mutually, that it would be best to just stay friends), but so far everything had been working out in that sector of his personal life. 

That sector didn't include his ridiculous crush on his best friend. He'd told Rich, accidentally, when he found the initials doodled inside of hearts in his math notes. He only made fun of him a little and proclaimed that he'd called it while Jeremy turned beet red. He asked him why he didn't just say something to Michael.

But there was another thing that  hadn't changed since the Squip nonsense: Jeremy Heere had never been good at talking about his feelings.

"It's just some more Mountain Dew Red," he muttered. He was kind of ashamed at how frequently he had to use it to keep the Squip at bay. Senior year was kind of kicking his ass academically. He had hard classes and college decisions to stress out over endlessly. And when he got anxious he started to doubt himself. And when he doubted himself the Squip got bad. "I was running out."

"Alrighty," Michael replied without a hint of judgement or guilt. He loved that he spoke like that. He loved that Michael was still here after everything that had happened between them. He loved a lot of things about Michael Mell.

They played video games in silence for a little while, until they both got tired and ended up watching Bob’s Burgers instead. Jeremy was tired but he didn’t want to stretch his legs out into Michael’s space in order to adequately lean on the arm of the couch and he also didn’t care for the other option (which was leaning on Michael, and maybe the problem was that he cared too much for that option.) He tried to keep his squirming to a minimum as he got comfortable but he wasn’t doing a particularly good job of it.

_What do you think you’re doing Jeremy? You can’t sit on a couch without assistance anymore?_

He winced as the Squip’s familiar voice intercepted his thoughts. He ignored it. It was better to just not respond.

“You okay?” Michael was looking at him with concern and Jeremy realized his entire body had tensed up.

“I’m okay. Just tired,” he said, jaw still tight.

Michael tilted his head to one side in sleepy confusion and worry and something else Jeremy couldn’t pin down. “Here.” Michael opened his arms wide. “Come lean on me.”

Jeremy felt his face heat up. Why was he getting so weird about this now? He’d been friends with Michael for years and had accidentally dozed off on his shoulder countless times. Now he could feel his heart in his throat.

_It’s different now because you’re a coward who can’t tell him how you feel._

It was getting harder to push down his feelings...that was for sure. Jeremy was a “bottle it up and hide it under the bed” kind of guy when it came to dangerous emotions or complex feelings. But after the Squip incident he thought maybe he had too many bottles under there.

He shoved off the Squip’s probing and leaned into Michael’s arms, putting his head on his shoulder and turning his attention back on the TV. Michael wrapped his arms gently around Jeremy’s shoulders and pulled him closer, resting his chin on the top of Jeremy’s head.”You’ve gotta remember to take it easy Jer.”

_Just because he’s nice to you doesn’t mean he feels the same way Jeremy._

“I know that,” Jeremy muttered aloud.

“What was that?” Michael asked.

“Nothing, it’s nothing. I’m fine.”

As soon as Michael went home Jeremy opened up the Amazon package and hardly looked at the can of Mountain Dew as he drank nearly half of it. He was so focused on drowning the asshole in his brain that it didn’t register that the Mountain Dew tasted odd until he set the can down.

“Mountain Dew Purple?!” He shrieked. “I didn’t order this. Oh God what does the purple kind do?”

_You’ll see._

“No, you’re not allowed to be weird and cryptic. Tell me what’s going on.” Jeremy got up and shut the door to his room in case his dad could overhear.

Suddenly, he felt a strange crawling beneath his skin and jolt like electricity up his spine.  _I said you would see_.

Jeremy blacked out for a moment or two and when his vision came back things were...different...like weird different. He was still him, but he felt weirdly removed from his body, as if his consciousness had sunken into the back of his brain.

“We’ve switched places,” the Squip said with Jeremy’s voice. “Now you’re the one inside of me.”

_That doesn’t make any sense! I’m not a computer!_ The Squip rolled Jeremy’s eyes and it was an exceedingly strange, out of body experience.

“It’s not a big deal. It’ll only last a day or so. Who knows, maybe you’ll learn something by looking at things the way I do.”

_So you’re not going to try to take over the world again?_

“Don’t be an idiot Jeremy. I’ve hardly the time or resources to try something like that again. I’m on your side.”

Jeremy didn’t trust it, of course he didn’t, but for the time being it seemed like he needed to stay on the Squip’s good side.

_I should call Rich._

“Sure, but I’ll be doing the talking Jeremy Heere.” The Squip made his voice sound eerily confident and smooth in a way Jeremy didn’t think he could speak. This was weird. He was strangely drawn to the Squip’s vision of him: the way he held his shoulders back instead of hunching over, the confident cross of his arms over his chest instead of Jeremy’s usual nervous squirming of hands in his cardigan, and the even stride as he walked to the end table and picked up Jeremy’s phone.

*Calling: Richard “Baller” Goranski*

“Sup dude? How’s my other favorite bisexual?” Rich said when he picked up. He sounded uncharacteristically pleased. Now that he thought about it he rarely called Rich. It was mostly texting or in person communication between them.

“Hello Rich,” the Squip said.

“Whoa Jeremy you sound really weird. Is there something wrong?” Jeremy couldn’t help but grin at how quickly Rich had caught on. He really was his friend. Sometimes that was hard to say. Jeremy wasn’t great at accepting friendship.

_Tell him._

“Fine Jeremy, I’ll tell him. Though I thought I was doing an adequate job of imitating your speech patterns.”

“Dude, what’s going on? Do you need help?” The interesting thing about this switch was that he wasn’t clouded by his own emotions when listening to Rich. If he stopped thinking so much about himself and listened to Rich it became clear that he really did care. He wasn’t his friend out of pity or guilt like Jeremy couldn’t help but think sometimes.

_I’m fine._ _Tell him I’ll be fine I just want to know if it’s ever happened to him before._

“Jeremy wants me to tell you that he’s fine. He drank some Mountain Dew Purple and switched places with me. It will wear off in a little while but he’s freaking out and wants me to ask you if you’ve ever done the same thing. Judging by your reaction you have not.”

“What the hell Jeremy where did you get Mountain Dew Purple?!”

“Amazon, apparently.”

“Holy shit Jeremy Heere. No it hasn’t happened to me. Are you sure you’re okay? I can come over if you need me.”

_I’m fine Rich, really. Thank you._

“He says he’s fine and he says thank you. And he’s thinking that you’re a really good friend but he didn’t tell me to say that.”

Rich laughed.”You’re a good friend too Jeremy. I’ll see you at school tomorrow okay? I’ll help you out.”

_Thanks Rich._

“Goodbye Richard.”

“Fuck you Squip.”

***

Everything was blurry when Jeremy woke up. His thoughts swam above him like he was laying at the bottom of the pool looking up at the rippling surface of the water. He remembered laying on the bottom of the public pool during summers when he was little. He and Michael would walk there, sweaty and sunscreen covered as they made their way on lazy afternoons. Jeremy would get overwhelmed by all the neon pool noodles and shouting, splashing, kids and Michael would take his hands and count to three before they both went underwater. There it was quiet and dreamy and when he wore his goggles he could open his eyes and see the way Michael’s hair floated in the chlorinated blue. When they came up for air Michael was always grinning or laughing, or tilting his head up to the pale sky.

And he said his name like it was his favorite flavor of ice cream.  _Jeremy. Jeremy._

“Jeremy.” The Squip pulled him from his nostalgia.

_You’re going to be me today right? You have to listen to me so no one else catches on._

“Fine,” the Squip said flippantly. 

Jeremy looked at himself in the mirror while he got ready. Only it was weird because it wasn’t really him. It was the Squip wearing his face. He looked tired: dark circles beneath his eyes and stress acne dotting his forehead.

“Do you even sleep?” The Squip smirked and it looked unnatural on his lips.

_Shut up. I try._

“Jeremy? Don’t be late for the bus!” His dad called from downstairs.

_Don’t ruin this._

“Relax, freak. Everything’s fine.”

Since the Squip incident his dad had been making more of an effort. For one, he actually wore pants. But more than that they talked now and he went out of his way to spend quality time with him.

“Have a good day at school son,” his dad said, handing him his backpack and clapping him on the shoulder. Jeremy noticed an insecurity in his gestures that he hadn’t before, when he was too busy rolling his eyes or wiping the sleep from his features. His dad was nervous. He didn’t want to disappoint him again.

_Tell him you hope he has a good day too._

The Squip did as it was told and Jeremy watched his dad smile.

School was going to be a shit show. School was going to be awful but then Rich was coming up to him and holy shit he was so glad to see him.

“Hey Jer.” Jeremy was opening his locker and Rich leaned on the locker beside him faux casually. “You okay?” he whispered.

_I’m alright. Don’t tell anyone what I told you though._

“He says to keep the switch under wraps, though I assume he primarily means don’t tell Michael.”

Rich’s nose wrinkled up in amusement. “I won’t say anything Jer. I’ve got you.”

Jeremy didn’t see Michael until lunch. He slipped in beside him at their usual table: Brooke and Chloe gossiping about God knows what to his right, Jenna helping Christine run lines to his left, and Rich and Jake thumb wrestling intensely across the table. Michael pulled his headphones off of his ears and put his plastic cup of grapes in between them so they could share like they usually did.

“How’s your day on a scale from 1 to 10?” Michael asked.

_It’s about a 4 but don’t tell him that. Say 8._

“6,” The Squip said. “You?”

Michael considered. “A 7 probably. It’ll be at least an 8 if you say you’ll hang out at the park with me tonight?”

_No don’t. Make something up. I don’t think you can fool him for that..._

“Sure.” The Squip smiled with his face and for the first time in a long time Jeremy looked at Michael without worrying about what he looked like or how much he was squirming or how red his face likely was. “I love spending time with you,” the Squip added and Jeremy was about to tell him off for making it weird when he watched Michael blush. He actually blushed and stumbled over the next couple of words.

“I love spending time with you too. I should uh...I should go to study hall but I’ll see you later okay?”

_Has he done that before?_

“Remember that time you wore that fluffy sweater Christine knitted you to school?” The Squip said under its breath.

He remembered. The sweater was warm and big on his scrawny arms and chest and a pastel purple that he liked but was worried he’d get made fun of for wearing. When Michael saw him in it he’d had a brief double take before complimenting him.

_Michael had a fever. That’s why he was so red when I asked him what he thought about the...wait. Are you saying what I think your saying?_

“I don’t know Jeremy do you live in perpetual feverishness as well?”

He didn’t have a whole lot of time to process this new information because soon the school day was over and he was walking to the park to meet Michael. The night was slightly chilly and his teeth chattered but he didn’t mind. The Squip was the one feeling the cold anyway. The trees made haunting shadows against the night sky and he hurried to the glow of the street lights.

He found Michael on the swing set. “My day’s an 8.5 now,” he said with a small smile when Jeremy took the swing beside him. They swung back and forth and Jeremy guided the Squip though some vague small talk about the weird people at 7-11 and the bullshit history project they had shitty partners (not each other) for. 

“Hey Jer, are you worried about college? I mean I meant what I said about guys like us fitting in there but sometimes I feel really...” he hesitated, eyes falling to the mulch at their feet. “Lost I guess.”

_I’m worried. I’m worried I’m not good enough to make it at college. I’m worried I’ll pick the wrong major or do the wrong things and screw everything up because I don’t know who I am yet._

For all he hated the Squip, he was grateful that he repeated his words exactly. Michael looked up at him. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something and then stopped. Jeremy could see the way his eyes shifted and dared to guess what he’d wanted to say next. Instead he said “You’re a really good friend Jeremy. And I think you’ll figure it out.”

_I want my body back. I think he might...I mean I didn’t notice it before but now I really think he might..._

The strange jolt of electricity hit him again. He blinked and he was in his own head again. 

_You think Jeremy?_ The Squip said. Jeremy tuned him out. He didn’t need him in his head of this.

“Hey Michael can I ask you something?’

“Of course.” Michael shifted in the swing. “You can ask me anything.”

“Why did you stay by me after everything that happened? I said really awful things that I didn’t mean but...I treated you like shit Michael how could you just forgive me?”

“Jeremy, you’ve only apologized for this a million times.”

“I’m sorry. I’m still so sorry.”

“And I forgive you.” Michael got up and Jeremy followed him up to the top of the jungle gym. It was their other preferred spot. It was closer to the stars.”I’m never just going to leave Jeremy. Our friendship is worth more than that. Friends...people who mean a lot, hurt each other from time to time. It’s hard because it’s worth it.”

Sometimes everything felt hard. But nothing was worth it like Michael was worth it.

“I, um...” The nervous squirming was back. He ignored it. He needed to get it out now. Everything he wanted to say was swimming in the soda of a shaken up bottle. “I hope this doesn’t make everything weird and shitty but I feel like I need to say it so I’m just going to. I like you Michael. I mean I have feelings for you. Romantic feelings. That have been really hard to ignore recently and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything but I feel like I’m running out of time to say how I’m feeling and I’ve always been really bad at that but you’re worth trying it for. Because I really really like you. You make me feel safe and wanted and you’re just so fun to be around and...anyway I’m going to stop talking now because that was a lot.”

“You like me?” He looked up at Michael again, careful not to fall off the jungle gym. He’d done that before when he was little. Michael helped him get to the nurse and didn’t make fun of him when he cried. “You’re not kidding?”

“Why would I be kidding?”

Michael laughed. “I don’t know because I’ve been highkey pining for you for years and I didn’t think you’d ever say something like that.”

“Y-years? Am I actually that clueless?”

“It’s okay Jer.” He laughed again. It was like coming up for air. It was clarity. “You’ve always been kind of clueless.”

“Can I kiss you then?” He asked before he lost his nerve. This time it was Michael who nearly fell off the jungle gym.

“Yeah...if you really want to.”

“I really want to.”

It was soft and it was nervous and it was over too soon but they’d have more time to practice. He got a text from his dad and he reluctantly told Michael that he had to go home.

“I’ll see you tomorrow okay?” Michael said. The street light made his eyes shine. “We’ll talk more?”

“Definitely. Goodnight Michael.”

When he got home he threw away the Mountain Dew Purple. He had the perspective he needed all by himself. 


End file.
